Look Out For Open Manholes

I was on my way to the library to blog when I fell down a manhole. I was drinking a cup of coffee and thinking so I didn't notice that the cover was off. Nor did I notice the yellow caution tape or the bright orange pylons stacked all around the manhole. Oh, and I didn't notice the man in the yellow hardhat yelling. Well, that's not actually true. I heard him yelling but I didn't think that the, "Hey, Buddy! You're going to fall down that manhole!" was directed at me.

Yes, I'm OK. Luck was with me. The fall was pretty far but there was a big mushy pile of mud at the bottom. I did spill my coffee though. That sucked.

Anyway, once I worked my way out of the big mushy pile of mud I started to look around for a way to get back out again. I could hear the traffic above me and what sounded like the guy in the yellow hard hat yelling at someone. At first I figured that I could just wait until the guy in the yellow hard hat yelled at enough people to get me out. However it was very very smelly down there next to the big pile of mushy mud. In fact, upon inspecting the big pile mushy mud it seemed that it wasn't only mushy, it was slimy too.

I let my eyes adjust to the darkness, tucking my nose in the collar of my t-shirt to help filter out some of the stink. It was then that I saw it- a big, mean, hairy dog like thing hunched in the corner under some pipes. There was slime dripping out from between its teeth. Not good.

Don't get me wrong, I like dogs but this thing wasn't going to go on my Cute or Friendly list any time soon. In fact this thing had just moved directly to the top of my Things I Wouldn't Want to Be Stuck 30 Feet Below Street Level In a Confined Space With list.

It made this very low, gravely growling noise in the back of it's throat and clicked it's teeth together slowly. I backed up trying to feel behind me for something I could use as a weapon. All I felt was that disgusting slime coating everything.

The big, mean, hairy dog-thing raised it's head up. I could see the slime covering it's black nose. Then it suddenly sneezed. Yes, it sneezed and covered me in slime. The hairy dog thing then lowered its head and wined. The damned thing had a cold.

Before I could really decide what to do, the last five feet of a white nylon rope plopped on my head. I looked up and saw that the guy in the yellow hard hat (who was still yelling) had gathered a group of people together and managed to send a rope down to me. From what I could see it looked like they were poised to haul me up. The dog thing with a cold started making those noises again so I grabbed the rope, eager to avoid another slime bath and I was pulled up.

So, I had to go back home shower and burn my clothes and then head back to the library, this time looking out for open manholes.