Thursday, October 25, 2007
A Story In Which I Miss Most Of The Excitement
Well, today is the 25th and I have a writing assignment which is supposed to be emailed out today. Alas, it's recipient is waiting in vain. I have not finished it and rather than doing so I'm blogging (sorry Erin!). I feel like a heel.

The story begins on Tuesday of this week. I was sitting in the park eating a piroshky (corned beef and mushroom, since you asked) and reading The Coming of Conan the Cimmerian, a collection of Robert E. Howard's first Conan short stories. The sun was shining and it was warm. I was calm and having a good time, but my day didn't begin that way, did it?

It was my day off. I rolled out of bed around 9:30 and lazily threw on a pair of pants. I stumbled, bleary eyed into the back room (which is actually located at the front of the house - don't ask) to check my emails. Now, I remembered that the day before had been quite nice and sunny so I opened the blinds to see if luck would be on my side two days in a row. Sunlight cascaded into the room. I rejoiced. Sunny days are ephemeral will-o-the-wisps this time of the year in Seattle. I glanced out the window to get a better view of the outdoors. "That's odd" I thought. "I don't remember there being a yellow stripe right outside my window." I paused for a moment. There were letters on the stripe. They read "ENIL ECILOP". Now, of course, the letters were not only in backwards order, but also they appeared as mirror images of themselves. It took a few seconds for me to realize I was reading the letters backwards through the yellow stripe and arrange them properly. Crime scene tape? Right outside my house! I stretched and looked out the window. Nothing to see. My view was blocked by a big black SWAT Team van. A SWAT van! I ran upstairs as fast as I could and tore open the curtains in the living room.

As far as the eye could see (about a block, really) was a mass of yellow tape, police cars, black SWAT vans and guys wearing various uniforms and full on body armor! I swear to God there were even a few Humvees. The uniformed cops stood on the corner directing traffic and keeping people away from the area. Guys in body armor strutted around importantly. An ambulance turned on it's siren and zoomed away.

Shirtless, I burst out the front door. "What's going on?" I shouted. A uniformed police man looked at me then looked away and didn't answer.

"Some woman was walking around with a samurai sword and attacked someone", announced a voice behind me. I turned. My next door neighbors, the one we share the duplex with were all out on their steps watching the scene. The one who spoke was the mother of the five or so kids who swarm around our neighborhood.

"No shit? Really?" I asked.

"Yeah. She cut up some guy on the sidewalk just before," She replied. "Then she ran into that apartment." My neighbor pointed at a door of an apartment complex katty-corner across the street from our house. A continuous line of police men and what I assumed to be detectives filed in and out. "I thought you were at work or school or something, 'cuz you weren't out here watching."

"I just got out of bed", I answered. We talked for a few minutes while I smoked and watched what was going on. My neighbors didn't know any more details and nothing seemed to be happening across the street.

I went inside to make some coffee and when I returned most of the police and SWAT were gone and they were taking down the yellow tape.

Now, I've searched the internet and can't find any confirmation of my neighbors story. I found no mention in the Seattle papers of a sword wielding mad-woman. I'll continue to search and post a link if I find something.